Love, more often than not, is the feeling that we have for another person. It is that special and pure feeling that comes from within when we are in love. Love encompasses a whole range of positive and strong psychological and emotional states, from the strongest personal trait or good practice, the most intense interpersonal connection, to the easiest pure joy. Love is the state of mind that enables us to act with courage and with respect. There is an interesting tendency towards romantic love that goes along with the sense that love gives us something extra and makes our lives extra special.
The reason that people have this ‘love high’ is because, in part, it comes from being in romantic relationships. The human brain is wired for such a state. It generates chemicals that cause the release of the ‘feel good’ chemicals endorphins. Those of us in loving relationships tend to have higher levels of those chemicals, which heighten our feelings of love and make us happier and healthier.
However, does having this intense love style automatically lead to happy relationships? Does being in a committed relationship automatically mean that you are happier, healthier and more contented than in other relationships that do not produce the same levels of passionate feelings? Not necessarily. In fact, the research suggests that there may be a ‘laziness’ at play here – that being in passionate relationships may be an indicator that someone is not very happily attached to their partner.
Why do some people in long-term relationships show signs of being less connected than others? There are many possible factors. It could be that they are not sharing their intimate thoughts and feelings with one another as much as they should be. Some people also find it difficult to let go of long-term problems and commitments. That said, though, when a couple does start to feel less connected than usual, they are probably having one of these other issues in play as well – and that would make them even less emotionally connected to one another.
Of course, passionate love does not always equate to a healthy relationship. If someone only has feelings for you in the context of being loved, then that’s not a healthy relationship. But there could also be other factors at work. Perhaps the person is simply not giving their partner what they think they deserve in return, and so they’re frustrated and hurt when the other person doesn’t reciprocate. Or perhaps the person isn’t giving their partner as much attention as they’re entitled to, so the partnership is strained and prone to constant bickering.
All of these things can play a role in how we feel about our partners, which is why it’s important to understand your own unique love languages. You’ll find that you have differing feelings towards your partner depending on which of these unique love languages you most identify with – so try and discover yours! Your love language is your unique way of expressing yourself, and it’s important to work with your partner to express this. Only then can you both benefit from the relationship.