For millennia, philosophers and prophets have speculated about the nature of love. More recently, scientists have been exploring the subject more explicitly. The study of love has expanded beyond the traditional concepts of romantic love to include familial and friendship loves, as well as boundless love for humanity.
As with all emotions, it is difficult to define love precisely. However, most people would agree that it encompasses a deep bond with a person or thing that brings joy and provides support in times of need. Love can also engender feelings of awe and wonder.
A growing body of research suggests that these complex, amorphous feelings are caused by specific chemical reactions in the brain. For example, when you’re around someone you love, your heart rate and blood pressure increase. The brain’s reward centers light up as you think about that person or look at a photo of them. And when you’re in love, neurotransmitters such as dopamine and adrenaline flood your body. These chemicals, along with the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin, can cause the butterflies in your stomach and racing heart you might experience when you’re in love.
But is that all there is to it? Is love nothing more than a series of biologically triggered sensations that occur when you’re around the person you want to spend your life with? If so, you might have as much control over falling in love as you might have over accidentally falling into a hole.
The sex hormone testosterone and the estrogens progesterone are thought to play a role in the first stages of lust and attraction, while the chemical messengers dopamine, adrenaline and serotonin are involved in the feelings of euphoria and excitement that might make you want to run into the arms of a new love interest or feel the comradery of a close friendship. In the next stage, oxytocin and norepinephrine take over from dopamine and adrenaline, helping us to feel bonded and safe in our relationship.
These bonds can last for decades and provide important emotional and psychological support, particularly in times of trouble or stress. They may even help people survive serious illnesses. Love can also help people develop and maintain healthy eating habits, exercise regularly, and be more resilient in the face of adversity.
Ultimately, though, the most important factor in love is not biology or chemistry but choice. How we choose to love—and how that love is reflected back to us by the people around us—is what matters most.
Everybody deserves love, and the countless ways it can be expressed. Whether it is the bond with family or the camaraderie of friends, or the butterflies from those romantic feelings, love enriches our lives and should be nurtured. It takes courage and trust to risk loving someone, but it also takes faith that the person you’re giving your heart to won’t break it. Having that kind of faith is what makes love truly worth it.