Love is one of the most universally experienced emotions in human life and its a theme that has been explored in poetry, literature, art and movies. It is a powerful force that can drive us to do extraordinary things and it’s also often seen as a source of suffering. Love has been a complex subject to study with scientists agreeing that it’s not an emotion in the same way that happiness or anger are, but rather a complex mix of primary emotions.
When we fall in love, our brains go through a series of chemical reactions that can lead to feelings of euphoria, attraction, joy and affection. We’ve all felt that rush of feeling a connection with someone and the desire to be near them. These feelings can be so strong that they cause you to obsess over the person and want to spend as much time as possible with them, even when it’s not good for you. These feelings are referred to as infatuation and are caused by the release of dopamine, adrenaline and norepinephrine, which can make your cheeks flush, palms sweaty and heart race.
The next step is when you move into the attachment stage, which occurs when those feelings of euphoria and attraction turn into trust and closeness. At this point the chemicals dopamine and norepinephrine are replaced with oxytocin and serotonin, which lead to feelings of bonding and emotional security. This is when you start to daydream about your future together and you’re able to see them as part of your life in the long term.
Once you reach this stage, it’s important to remember that you still have to act in your best interest and that there may be underlying issues that need to be addressed. It’s important to take this time to get to know the person and show them that you care by spending time doing activities that they love. This will help you to develop a shared passion and build a stronger relationship.
You can also try to get to know the person better by sharing your own interests and discovering what makes them tick. Trying to be someone you think they want to be isn’t going to work and will likely lead to a break down in trust.
Some psychologists believe that there are three primary, three secondary and nine tertiary love styles, but they all share similar characteristics of intimacy, passion and commitment. The key is to choose the type of love that works for you and stick with it. Even if it’s not easy, loving someone through the rough patches is what true love is all about. Deakin University provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.