For millennia, philosophers and poets have pondered what love is and how to cultivate it. Scientists have been less comfortable with the subject, but in recent decades have come to see that a scientific study of relationships and the feelings they generate can be useful in enhancing well-being, bridging divides and contributing to a meaningful life.
Even so, the concept of “love” remains elusive and difficult to pin down. One of the key axes along which researchers differ is whether to define it as a state, an experience that passes between us, or as an enduring commitment or trait. The latter view is more akin to moral discipline than an emotion, and it demands a set of values that includes honesty, trust, respect and intimacy.
Another key question is how to measure it. Some scientists use a scale of traits such as empathy, forgiveness and compassion to distinguish different kinds of love. Others, like rabbi Shai Held, author of Judaism is About Love, prefer a more existential approach that makes love “a way of holding myself in relationship to other people and the world.” In this view, love is a stance, an attitude or a posture that requires ethical self-awareness.
Most of the research on love focuses on romantic and familial relationships, but some scientists have widened the definition to include friendship, altruistic love and boundless love for humanity as a whole. Others have identified three primary and nine secondary love styles. These are based on the color wheel theory of personality, which suggests that attachment, caring and passion are core to love.
Biologically, the chemicals that trigger those butterflies in your stomach or your racing heart may be neurotransmitters related to dopamine and adrenaline. These are part of a larger family of hormones that control our body’s functions, including stress, and contribute to the sense of euphoria that often comes with falling in love. In addition, the stress hormone cortisol tends to rise in a new relationship, but drops in a long-term, stable relationship, which can reduce stress and anxiety levels and contribute to health benefits.
In a healthy relationship, the feeling of loving someone can also motivate you to be your best. This is not just for the sake of being loved, but because it feels good to do things that improve the quality of your relationship and the lives of those you care about.
But a toxic relationship can have lasting consequences toto sgp for the person who’s suffering. Feelings of inadequacy, fear of abandonment and guilt for not meeting expectations can erode a person’s self-esteem. In addition, the stress of being in a bad relationship can lead to health problems and create insecurities that extend beyond the end of a relationship. A person in a bad relationship can become depressed and anxious and have trouble forming healthy, fulfilling connections with other people. This can have a negative impact on their career and social life as well. These concerns underscore the importance of finding a partner with whom you can build an honest and trusting connection that is respectful and compassionate.