When you fall in love, your heart beats faster. Your palms become sweaty. And, you can’t stop thinking about the person you love. It may seem like a mystery, but scientists are discovering more and more about this most powerful of emotions. What they’re finding, is that love isn’t just a feeling – it’s a complex chemical reaction in the brain and body.
Scientists use the word love to describe the emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship, as well as a deep commitment and passion that can develop between two people in a healthy partnership. Those feelings of affection and attraction can lead to a variety of different types of relationships, including companionate love, passionate love and unrequited love.
Throughout history, philosophers and poets have speculated on the nature of love. More recently, the science of psychology and the disciplines of anthropology, biology and neuroscience have contributed to our understanding of this mysterious force.
The scientific view of love starts with the assumption that all humans are wired to be attracted to other human beings. In this view, love is a biological drive, similar to the drives that motivate an infant to become attached to its mother. Love is a result of hormones, neurotrophins and pheromones that promote bonding between adults.
Those same chemical messengers are involved in sexual attraction, which is a different kind of love than the intimate bond of companionate or passionate love. The biological model of love also assumes that there are stages of love, from infatuation to attachment.
A 2012 study in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience found that when you fall in love, your brain experiences an altered state of neural activity. This alteration includes increased levels of the feel-good chemical serotonin, and a lack of control over your behavior. You may find yourself doing things you wouldn’t normally do, such as confessing your love for someone in front of a crowd. That’s because parts of the brain that help you detect danger (the amygdala) and make decisions (the frontal lobe) are temporarily turned off, making it easier to act on impulse.
While the feeling of love can be irrational, it can also be protective. When you’re in love, your immune system is stronger and you’re less likely to be depressed or anxious. It can also motivate you to take better care of yourself, such as by exercising more often and eating a healthier diet.
Whether you’re infatuated, in lust, in love or in a long-term relationship, there are steps you can take to increase your happiness. In addition to getting enough sleep and reducing stress, happy people focus on the present, which can help them live longer. They avoid negative thoughts, such as regrets or worries about the future, and are kinder to themselves. They’re also warm, considerate and respectful of others.