There are few emotions more powerful or mysterious than love. Often it feels like a force beyond our control – a magical, whimsical emotion that dictated centuries of philosophy and poetry. But the truth is, underneath our flushed cheeks and pounding hearts, it’s a series of complex chemical reactions taking place between the brain and the body.
Researchers and psychologists have debated the nature of love for years. Some believe it’s a primary human emotion, while others describe it as a secondary emotion that derives from a mixture of other feelings and behaviors. The American Psychological Association, for example, places it in the latter category.
A growing body of evidence suggests that the feelings we call love are rooted in specific brain regions. One key area is the mesolimbic system, which controls how we respond to rewards and aversions. When we meet someone we find attractive, a flurry of chemicals floods this region of the brain, heightening our sense of pleasure and motivation to seek out that person again.
During romantic love, this response is heightened by an interaction between two brain regions, the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. In addition, the mesolimbic system triggers a release of the opiate-like drug oxytocin. This helps to stabilize the emotional experience and create a euphoric feeling of connection and closeness.
This bonding system is a critical part of human evolution. From the beginnings of life, humans have needed to build and maintain stable relationships in order to survive. Studies show that people in committed relationships are healthier and live longer than those who are not. This is because the stability of a relationship creates a buffer against stress, which can damage our bodies and minds.
Research also shows that we can fall in love with more than one person at the same time. In fact, most people will say they love two people at the same time in different ways, which is not surprising given that our brains are wired for multiple relationships. Similarly, we can fall out of love with someone even though we still care for them.
Many people have a hard time distinguishing between different types of love. They may confuse attachment and a desire for affection with true love, or they may assume that the feeling of affection can fade with time. But these distinctions are important for understanding how love works.
The best way to cultivate loving behavior is through practice. Happy partners are honest with each other, and they show respect for their differences. They support and encourage each other to be their best selves. And they give back to their community and the world by using their skills, efforts, and energy to help those in need.