Throughout history, love has been the subject of mythology, poetry and philosophy. It’s also been the focus of numerous scientific studies, including those that explore how it impacts the brain. While neurotransmitters, hormones and the hypothalamus play a significant role in love, it isn’t a one-size-fits-all feeling. People in love can experience everything from euphoria and lust to jealousy and sadness. Those feelings are caused by the same neural circuitry as any other reward-related emotion. The ventral tegmental area floods the brain with dopamine, sending us into a state of bliss.
But, if that’s all there is to love, then it seems we’d have about as much control over falling in and out of it as we do over jumping off a cliff. After all, these chemical reactions are triggered by what we see and think about someone, and they’re shaped by our experience. And, while these feelings are important to a healthy relationship, they’re just a small part of what love really is.
It might be easiest to define love as a complex blend of emotions, but that can make it difficult to pin down. It’s the kind of thing that might make you yearn for your best friend or even the tiniest quirk in your partner, but it can also make you jealous, sad or angry.
Researchers have tried to understand what makes some people more likely to fall in and out of love, as well as what helps those relationships last longer. Several factors have been identified, including similarities such as similar belief systems and personality traits. In addition, physical proximity and familiarity can help build intimacy and closeness.
Another factor is social support, which can include things like helping you deal with problems and providing emotional and material resources. Finally, shared experiences and a sense of purpose can help you connect with someone and keep your relationship strong.
Some scientists believe that while it’s a primary emotion, love is actually a secondary emotion that comes from a combination of other primary emotions. In other words, we might only feel a certain way about someone because we’re stimulated by their actions or the positive things they’ve done for us.
However, others argue that if we’re only considering the feelings and attachments that arise as a result of love, then we might be misunderstanding what it means to love. Instead, they suggest that we should take stock of our lifelong goals and values when selecting a romantic partner. For example, choosing a partner with whom you share lifelong ambitions around family, career and money can set the stage for a long-term commitment that is built on mutual understanding and working towards shared objectives. This is a more holistic view of what it means to love, which might help you to avoid some of the mistakes that can be made when we confuse feelings and actions with love. And it might give you more confidence in your ability to withstand the ups and downs of this powerful emotion.